What is duality and how do we work with energy to transform it?
In this powerful story of transforming duality through the power of energy medicine, Lou interviews one of the Council of Elders, Patti Dean, who shares with you: 1. What happened 2. What it was like before energy medicine 3. What is it like now after energy medicine? This is an excerpt from the book ‘The Power of Energy Medicine.’
Lou: Patti I would love for you to share a significant life experience where you worked with energy medicine to transform your life?
Patti: I’ve been searching my entire life for some unknown, elusive thing. Always seeking in hopes of recognising it when I found it. When I was forty-five years old I met someone who brought my soul to life like nobody ever has. This new person stirred up many things inside of me, both good and bad. I felt the deepest love I have ever known in this lifetime.
At first, I did not understand what was happening.
This man, Josh, is twenty-two years younger than me and it felt wrong for me to have such feelings for him. I had been married to my best friend and he never made me feel such intense aliveness. When I was thirty-one years old, my husband died and the pain of loss and grief hurt me so much that I swore I would never be in another romantic relationship again. Now that I think about it, maybe I took it even further to not being in any deep relationship.
I was not looking for love so this caught me by surprise. I had an issue with the age gap so I tried to suppress my feelings, but they kept intensifying. One day, while reading an astrology report for myself, twin flame was mentioned. I had no idea what that was, so I looked it up. It described my experience perfectly and made my whole life make sense to me. I tried talking to Josh about what was going on. I felt sure he had to be going through a spiritual awakening, too. But he never gave me any indication that he was. I questioned my mental stability. For a while, he allowed me to talk to him about my experiences. Then one day I told him how deeply I loved him and he quit responding to me.
I felt the pain of loss all over again.
It was then, that I decided, this spiritual journey I was on, was only meant for me. I went on a quest to learn everything I could about awakening. I realised the thing I had been searching for, all this time, was ME. I’ve listened to meditations that transport me to a place where I experience unconditional love, acceptance, and peace. I’ve listened to chakra clearings and energy clearings. I’ve learned about past lives. I’ve learned to work with my inner child. I’ve done it all to get to a place of self-love and inner peace.
Lou: Patti what was it like physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually before energy medicine?
Patti: Emotionally, after I met Josh, my catalyst for awakening, my life turned inside out, upside down and backwards. I felt extreme emotions of every kind that started to arise from seemingly nowhere. I did a lot of crying. I got to a point where I was too afraid to explore my feelings more deeply because I thought they would overtake me and I would never be able to escape them. It wasn’t until I participated in Lou Reed’s year-long Quest program, that I found the courage to face my emotions. I trusted Lou, her team, and the others on the journey with me to support me if things got too overwhelming.
The only thing holding me back from expressing my emotions was a story.
My dad used to tell me, “quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” and I took it literally. I had a deep-seated belief that if I shared my emotions, then something worse would happen to me. If I was already in deep pain, I was not going to make it worse by sharing that pain. I had a whole lifetime of bottled up emotions to process.
Along with crying, my main way to express emotions is by journaling. I learned that the process I use to write, taps into my subconscious and that is where the messages that I receive, come from. I also learned, that I have taken on other people’s emotions, and thought that they were my own. I was never taught about boundaries and how to create them. I had taken on so much of everybody else, that I no longer knew who I was and what I wanted.
As I started healing, I discovered how much hatred I have held against males my whole life. Ever since I can remember, males in my life have treated me disrespectfully. I have been used and abused by them. Whenever females in my family got together, male-bashing was a favourite topic to discuss. I never had good relationships with females, though, either. I have a history of being bullied by females.
This has caused me to mistrust all relationships.
Nobody has ever been allowed to get close to me. I had a great fear that if I let someone get close to me, then they would somehow betray me and I would end up feeling deep pain. This has caused much loss in my life. People I have cared about, have walked away from me without a word, never to be heard from again. I had always blamed others for the pain they caused when they left, but in my healing, I learned that it was a reflection of my own abandonment of self. Once I made peace with just the acknowledgment of this, I began healing the rift between the masculine and feminine within myself.
Mentally, my mind has always been in control of me. I let my mind make all of the decisions based on what I was feeling. My mind was always racing. I couldn’t turn it off. I had so much fear of everything that I was constantly trying to come up with every possible outcome of a situation, before I experienced it, so that I could prepare myself for it.
My mind could not comprehend all of the spiritual experiences that I went through. I heard voices in my head that I knew were not my own. I would be in very negative energy and I would hear a voice giving me advice and encouraging me. A few times I actually heard Josh’s voice in my head. I told myself it was just my imagination. I was brought up in a home where everything was seen through the lens of ‘the glass is half empty.’
The negative of a situation was always the one focused on.
That is how I learnt to view life. But I also believed in mind over matter. I was always out to prove others wrong, when they would say, ‘you can’t do that!’ Very often I proved them wrong. Ever since I met Josh, and most especially after he rejected me, I have been trying to tell myself that my feelings for him are not real. There is no basis for them. We barely know each other. He has not shown any interest in me or my spiritual journey. For the longest time, though, my thoughts were constantly on him. I obsessively worked on clearing blocks to self-love so I could either bring Josh back into my life or release the strong attachment that I had to him. For years I focused on nothing but this.
Physically, I was becoming more easily drained. I found myself sleeping more and taking naps. I seemed to absorb negative energy from others more easily as well. To avoid this, I kept myself isolated from everyone, including my family. I felt I couldn’t pull myself out of negativity if I was allowing others to pull me back into it. One of the ways I dealt with the excess negative energy was through movement, either physical exercise or dance. Although I was practicing keeping boundaries at work, the environment was too toxic, and I found myself angry by the end of the workday. If I did not do some form of physical exercise as soon as I got home, then I took my anger out on my kids.
As I healed my traumas and beliefs from the past, I started loving myself more. Yet, no matter how much I healed, I still had negative thoughts about my body. The more I loved myself, the more I believed Josh left me because of how I looked. Physical exercise has always improved my mood and my view of myself, but with my energy drained, I could not get myself to do any kind of physical activity, which just made the situation worse.
I blamed myself for the loss of the relationship.
For being too lazy to do anything about it. Yet, I realised I did not want a relationship based only on appearances. Spiritually, I found myself in desperate need of guidance, especially from the Divine, but I felt that God, the angels and my spirit guides had more important things to take care of, than me. I was seeing signs and synchronicities every day. Even so, I could not trust them. I was willing to try any energy healing practice.
I would do anything to find inner peace. I spent most of my free time learning everything I could about all things spiritual, metaphysical and healing. I started having dreams about Josh. At first, he didn’t talk to me in them, but as I healed, our relationship in the dreams became stronger. In one dream he proposed to me. In another one, he sat down on a sofa and said he was not going anywhere.
There were others that made no sense to me. The dreams did not feel ‘real’ so I wondered if it was just my subconscious trying to make sense of what was happening. A way to get clarity and closure from a situation that made no sense to me. As I continued learning about everything spiritual and metaphysical, I came across Corin Grillo. She showed me that my guides and the angels are more than happy to spend time with me and help me. I started accepting this and having deeper experiences with the spirit world.
Lou: Patti what is it like now physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually after energy medicine?
Patti: Emotionally, I now face my emotions instead of pushing them away. I can observe my emotions without allowing them to control me. By asking them what message they are needing me to hear and giving them a voice, I am able to find a growing sense of inner peace. It’s much easier for me to find the quiet place inside of myself – the place where no thoughts can reach.
The place where the Divine can communicate with me.
When I get to a place where things just do not make sense, I pull out my journal and write. I try to use paint and drawings to get messages, but I feel that my creativity is blocked and I have resistance to art journaling. Although I feel that I have a deeper relationship with myself, I still struggle to develop deep relationships with others. I am now able to express my deepest emotions and challenges with others, but I still don’t have anyone I can call a best friend. It makes my life very lonely. My guess is that it is intentionally this way to get me to have deeper relationships with the Divine.
Mentally, my thoughts have become less negative, especially towards myself. I learned that changing the way I think, changes my circumstances. Fear no longer controls my actions. I find myself thinking less and BEing more, allowing things to happen without overanalysing them, and having to try to come up with every possible outcome. I have (mostly) accepted that Josh was only meant to be in my life for a season. Although I still think about him a lot, I am open to our relationship being entirely spiritual. Yet there is a part of me that still questions the validity of that aspect of our relationship, too.
Physically, I still struggle with drained energy. I try to give myself extra rest and nurturing, without the guilt. I have found myself resistant to exercise and dance and no longer make it a priority even though I know that working out decreases the judgements I have about my body. I now realise how much my body has been through in this lifetime and the fact that my only health issue is extra weight is miraculous.
It makes me have a deeper respect for my body.
Especially with the realisation that my body is a vessel for the Divine. Spiritually, I know my spirit guides and the angels are always willing and able to help me. All I need to do is ask. As I trust more in their guidance, I find myself able to manifest things more easily. I have a broader view of all that is possible for myself. I have learnt how to work with energy, both mine and others. I can clear negative energy from my energetic field and I can put up boundaries to keep other people’s energy from affecting me negatively.
I still have an unquenchable thirst for spiritual knowledge. The more I heal myself, the more I want to learn. Although I have found inner peace, I have not yet mastered happiness, although I do have the knowledge that it is, and always has been, inside of me. As I write this, it’s only been weeks since my dad died. I had many issues that kept me from loving my dad fully.
As I have healed, our relationship has changed.
A month before he died, he had an energetic exchange with his doctor that shook his soul. It made him more accepting of my beliefs around energy healing. Having him honour that part of me was external proof that my feminine and masculine within are becoming aligned. We both slept excessively a few days before he passed. After he died, I told him I would miss him and I felt a ring of warm energy surround me. I have peace with our relationship now and believe that we healed something more than the relationship between us.
LOVE NOTE FROM LOU
What is duality and how do we work with energy medicine to transform it? As an energy, we are androgynous. We are not masculine or feminine. Our Merkabah or our energy vehicle that moves us through time and space is two intersecting tetrahedrons (two three-sided pyramids), that spin in opposite directions creating a three-dimensional energy field. One tetrahedron has a base that sits across our shoulders with the point facing down towards Mother Earth. The other base sits across our hips with its point facing up to our soul point. Each tetrahedron moves in a different direction. Our Merkabah
provides protection & transportation for our consciousness to higher dimensions.
The symbol reflects the potential power we can wield when we unite duality. When we bring our own masculine tetrahedron and feminine tetrahedron into balance with the intention of connection and growth. Bringing us back into wholeness inside of ourselves and oneness with the universal.
If you or your loved one has experienced the feeling of duality, I invite you to head over to our FREE betrayal energy process and experience the power of energy medicine.
Energy Medicine has the power to transform all areas of your life! It is the new healing paradigm.
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Lou Reed, Energy Shaman ❤️✨
Founder, Energy Medicine Institute