What is betrayal and how do we work with energy to transform it?
In this powerful story of transforming betrayal through the power of energy medicine, Lou interviews one of the Council of Elders, Vicki Cook, who shares with you: 1. What happened 2. What it was like before energy medicine 3. What is it like now after energy medicine? This is an excerpt from the book ‘The Power of Energy Medicine.’
Lou: Vicki I would love for you to share a significant life experience where you worked with energy medicine to transform your life?
Vicki: Lou have you ever thought of your life mirroring nature, when, even though it is Summer, you feel frozen inside, unable to move forward, like you are experiencing a personal Winter? I have, and I have come through it, not only surviving but thriving and in awe of the journey. I’d like to share my story with you. My journey into Winter began when I went through a relationship breakup that became very messy, ending up in a long, drawn-out family court battle. I did not see it coming and when the court battle did come, I felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me. At the start, I tried to process all that was happening while in a state of shock and scrambling uncertainty.
As time passed, anxiety and fear became my constant traveling companions.
They were consulted in all decisions. My mind turned into a swirling soup of thoughts where there was no reprieve. I lived life on high alert, always in a state of fight, flight, or freeze. I struggled planning weeks out, let alone months out. And dreaming? That was for those who had a future. I simply lived one day at a time.
Initially, I was determined my business would not suffer, in fact, I decided that it would thrive. As my personal life came crumbling down, I put my focus into my business. I even won a business award a year later. The celebration was bittersweet, for the intention I had set to keep my business going was a reaction to the losses I experienced in my personal life.
With each year it became harder and harder to keep showing up.
To find the passion and enthusiasm for what I once loved. Little ignited the fire within and what remained was needed to keep me going, not a business. I put my head in the sand and avoided all confrontation. I felt unseen and unheard. Frustration grew as there appeared no outlet or way forward. Defeat silently stole my ability to see the beauty in the world.
Lou: Vicki what was it like physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually before energy medicine?
Vicki: In the beginning, I turned to sweets, chocolate in particular. There was no sweetness in my life. I would eat unconsciously, quickly consuming one chocolate after another. Chocolate numbed the pain of my broken heart. I’d eat too much and end up with headaches and feeling queasy. These feelings were better than the loss, anger, and betrayal spinning within. How could I move this body and experience myself? Stretch, dance, hike or run? No longer could this be done.
The pain across my upper back was excruciating.
Breathing in became agonising with the metaphorical knife to my back. It was another loss to grieve, in a body I had no desire to move. Trust, a firm belief in the reliability of something or someone, was shattered. I lost trust in the Divine, the system, myself, and everything that I valued and lived by. With this destruction, I questioned myself, raged at the Divine, and shrank further and further into myself. The destruction caused a loss of my identity.
Tears. I shed rivers and oceans of tears. Days were washed in the grey of grief. When those days turned to black, the wounded heart would howl in pain. The depth of pain was terrifying. The former vibrant person, I had known, became a timid, scared creature, living in the shadows. Journaling had always helped me process what was happening in my life. Around this time, I was introduced to writing poetry. I discovered it was a powerful way to release the hurt and painful emotions. ‘Melancholy Weary’ is one of the poems I wrote during the height of my despair.
My heart is full of lead
The inner flame is burning low
No will, no strength or determination.
It’s not that I wish to die
It just seems there is no desire,
Eyes blink increasingly heavier
Soon they are shut closed.
Head feels full to bursting,
Not of ideas and inspiration
But heaviness and pressure,
Exhaustion has invaded every cell
Apathy has settled in.
Grey is the surrounding colour,
Blah is the only note.
Dragging each onerous foot,
Lou: Vicki what is it like now physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually after energy medicine?
Vicki: Lou I look back at how life has unfolded and where I am today. I see and feel that I have come so far, yet I cannot pinpoint when the change occurred. Just like buds that appear in Spring, unfurling and blossoming with the lengthening of the days, my own journey was one of budding, unfolding, and blossoming. As I connect within, there is a stillness and expansiveness that I rest in now. It is a gentle, joyful presence that wraps around me, within me, and radiates out. A trusting in myself and in the Divine.
This trusting in myself is huge.
I know that I have strength and courage and a deep well of resources that I can call on to support me. I am no longer terrified of the unknown. Curiosity dances with my inner child playfully asking “What if” which leads to limitless, exciting possibilities. Yes, there are times when I become anxious and drop into my old pattern of worry. These times are fleeting and no longer all-consuming. This trust is a connection with myself that extends to the Divine. I have learnt to listen to my intuition and most of the time, I follow it, even when I don’t know where I am being guided.
Ah, I have found the pleasure of small delights that life has to offer. The morning dew on the spider’s web, fresh, cool air tenderly kissing my cheeks, or the corralling of magpies and a rosella, just beyond my door, crunching on seeds as I pen my morning musings with my cup of ceremonial cacao. I have slowed down, wishing to be fully present in each moment. This is life and love. I’ve returned to a plant-based diet, one that nourishes me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bringing clarity, energy, and vitality. When I reach for food that does not bring me this vitality then I know that somewhere in my life I am not feeling nourished.
This is my invitation to become curious.
Chocolate is still a beloved friend, yet my relationship with her has changed. No longer one-sided and superficial, I daily invite the spirit of cacao, Mama Cacao, to journey with me. This beautiful plant medicine is opening my heart further with her wisdom, and nourishing the connection with my soul and the Divine. No longer in the shadows, I am engaging with life. My business has a new website and a new direction. It is time to be seen and heard. I feel safe. Opportunities have, almost shyly, started to present themselves allowing me to engage with them, discover more, and create. Playfully, I approach opportunities having let go of desperation.
I am still uncomfortable with confrontations around speaking up. Knowing myself more deeply, I am aware of boundaries that are crossed, and I am honouring myself, and the other, by speaking up. This way of being is still relatively new to me, yet there is a sense of pride each time I acknowledge what is going on for me, which in turn nurtures my self-worth.
As I open to new ways of being, new unexpected possibilities are coming my way.
I’ve come back to movement. My body has always moved. Dancing was its first partner with a hand gently touching the barre as the arm ‘port de bras’ to the music. For years, the body remained inactive yet the familiarity of what was once loved easily reignited, taking me by surprise. The exquisite heart-opening, tear-filled moment led me to explore, hike, and connect with Mother Nature again.
Nurturing my relationship with Mother Nature deepened my relationship with myself. Now I witness the changing seasons: flowers poking their heads out of the ground when Spring arrives, blossoming with the coming heat of Summer. Leaves expand into maturity, then changing colours, herald autumn as they gentle fall to the ground, the decay of the leaf litter nourishing the earth. Then there is the stillness of brisk mornings as the earth replenishes during her winter rest. All these seasons I observe in myself and know that any challenges I face have a time, and like each season, will pass. I am moving with my own rhythm.
Poetry continues to be a source for expressing the depth of my emotions. Now, however, it is also an inspiration and I have discovered a new lightness in my words. Gratitude, awe, and wonder colour my days. ’A Time to Play’ was penned after one such day when I received so many blessings.
A Time to Play
Glasses of grey have lifted
A kaleidoscope of colours greet my eyes.
Congregated along my walk,
Flowers of purple and white
Each blessing me with joy and happiness
Effervescent bubbles of anticipation, awe and delight
Bringing lightness to each step
A skip to each foot lifted.
Effortlessly a smile paints my mouth,
This sense of wonder and childlike glee,
Eyes dance with sheer exuberance
Of all I see
Twelve months a journey has past
The Wheel of Life has turned
Through the eight seasons of Mother Earth, I have walked.
Along the way,
each season has been visited numerous times
Each stay of different duration.
A poem penned, twelve months’ past
Stepping into my Power.
I eagerly embrace my child within,
Who I have not been able to reach.
Tears wash away,
The last of the darkness and grey.
Embracing life together,
Dancing as one.
LOVE NOTE FROM LOU
What is betrayal and how do we work with energy to transform it? If someone close to you has ever broken your trust, you have probably felt the emotional pain of betrayal. This emotional pain can leave deep wounds. Any type of betrayal causes emotional distress, but you may also experience lingering trauma when, someone you depend on, to respect your needs and safeguard your well-being, violates the trust you have placed in them.
Betrayal trauma refers to the lingering emotional pain after betrayal.
By a parent or another primary caregiver or a betrayal by a romantic partner. When we rely on someone for basic needs, as well as love and protection, we can accept a betrayal in order to ensure our own safety. We may also find ourselves in fear of future betrayals, something that begins to eat away at our self-esteem, emotional well-being, and the ability to form healthy intimate relationships with self and others.
There are seven major emotions that we experience as we move through life: 1. Fear, 2. Anger, 3. Judgement, 4. Deprivation, 5. Jealousy, 6. Hatred, 7. Depression. Each core emotion has thirty-three levels, that they can show up in our internal world. Betrayal is the twenty-ninth level of Depression.
If you or your loved one has experienced betrayal, I invite you to head over to our FREE betrayal energy process and experience the power of energy medicine.
Energy Medicine has the power to transform all areas of your life! It is the new healing paradigm.
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Lou Reed, Energy Shaman ❤️✨
Founder, Energy Medicine Institute